


Paper Cranes

by not_the_sinistertype



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-15 07:18:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14785952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_the_sinistertype/pseuds/not_the_sinistertype
Summary: John Watson is a junior in high school who has major anxiety and folds paper cranes to keep himself calm.Sherlock Holmes has been home-schooled for all of his life. Until his junior year of high school, when his mother decides it's time for him to join public school with his brother and sister. This wouldn't be so bad, but Sherlock has depression, and has total color-blindness.John's years of high school were made a living hell by the two other Holmes siblings, so when the middle child joins, what will happen to John?





	1. What is this feeling?

The buzzing of the alarm clock snapped John from his trance. 6:30 am. John wasn't surprised. He knew from the start of summer that last night he wouldn't get a wink of sleep, too anxious for the second week of the school year to drift off. 

Huffing, he threaded the string through the last crane and tied a knot at the end. Standing up, he picked up the 10 strands of cranes and tape, wondering why he even set the alarm.

This night he decided to make cranes with the galaxy paper he was saving for a special occasion. This occasion was special enough. He stood on his creaky bed and taped the cranes to an empty spot on the ceiling. He sat back down on the bed.

John gazed around the room at the many strings of hundreds of cranes, all taped to the white ceiling of his room. He lazily flicked the string dangling in front of him. 

John soon realized the alarm was still going off. He shook his head and got up and crossed the room to shut off the blaring. 

Now looking into his closet, he tried to decide what to wear, his brain fuzzy from last night's feverish folding of dozens of delicate paper cranes. John soon decided on a plain gray shirt with black skinny jeans. 

After he was dressed, he walked lazily out of his room and to the bathroom across the hall. He took his toothbrush and hastily brushed his teeth and combed through his hair, not bothering with a shower, instead opting for a heavy dose of cologne. 

John walked into the living room, checking his phone when suddenly he felt an attack coming on. Annoyed, he spun on his heel, not wanting this horrible feeling to escalate, and went straight into his room and grabbed a handful of the colorful paper. 

Walking back into the living room, he sat down on the couch, making precise and even folds and he concentrated on the crane that was forming and tried to block out the anxiety that kept him up at night and that caused him to be home-schooled all throughout the first nine years of school. 

John could get medication that stopped all the attacks. They have tried, but John felt trapped inside a shell. He hated the way the medicine made him feel. So he simply didn't take any. 

When the attack passed, John took a deep, shaky breath and got up to get his bag together. He carefully placed the paper in the bag, careful not to make any undesired creases. 

John was allowed to have the paper with him all the time and be able to fold the cranes whenever cause the doctors contacted the school and such, but John decided to fold cranes in a class all the time, not paying attention to class. This caused some teacher to be extremely worried, but they didn't say anything. So John was content. 

Without a word to his mother, John grabbed his keys off the hook near the door, and walked out to his car and start the drive to school. 

School for John was always uneventful. Especially during the period of time before the first period. He simply sat in the library, folding cranes and listening to Snow Patrol.

When the bell rang, John picked up his bag and made his way to homeroom. Once inside, he took his seat, waiting for attendance to be taken and for him to leave this 'class.'

Before attendance started, John watched as Mrs. Kydin, his homeroom teacher, walked in late, a boy tailing her, wearing a scowl. 

"Alright, sorry I'm late," Mrs. Kydin shuffled her papers. "Not very professional to be late in the second week of school. Anyways, we have someone new joining us. Class, this is Sherlock Holmes." Mrs. Kydin explained. 

John froze. Holmes? As in, Mycroft and Eurus Holmes? 

Mycroft Holmes was a senior, and a stereotypical jock all around, except for his amazing brain. Eurus Holmes was a sophomore and the head cheerleader. John had actually gone out with her for two months last year until he realized she was sort of a psychopath. 

John did not have high-hopes this Holmes was different from the other two. He just wondered why Sherlock Holmes was going to this school now when his siblings were already here. 

"You all might know his brother, Mycroft, and his sister Eurus." Mrs. Kydin confirmed what John was thinking. Sherlock looked around the room, the scowl never leaving his face. 

John already hated Sherlock. Maybe because of his siblings, in the way that when John and Eurus broke up, Mycroft made John's life a living hell, but it could also be that Sherlock had an aura around him that made you want to hate him.

Either way, John Watson did not like Sherlock Holmes. 

\--  
What is this feeling  
So sudden and new?  
I felt the moment  
I laid eyes on you  
My pulse is rushing  
My head is reeling  
My face is flushing  
What is this feeling?  
Fervid as a flame  
Does it have a name?  
Yes!  
Loathing  
Unadulterated loathing  
\--


	2. Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Sherlock's first year of public school. He doesn't want to be there, but how will his attitude affect his first day?

Sherlock would rather have stayed home-schooled. But today is the first day of his first year in public school. But for all the other students, it was the second week of any other normal year of high school. 

But to make matters worse, his older brother is a senior, and the captain of the football team, and his younger sister, a sophomore, is the captain of the cheerleaders. 

To the public eye, there were only two Holmes children. Eurus and Mycroft. Sherlock didn't exist in the world. And he wanted to keep it that way. 

But dear mother had other plans. She was sending him off to high school in his junior year. But she "had the courtesy" to wait a week into the year, as to not overwhelm Sherlock with having to get settled at the same time as everyone else. 

\--

"Morning, Sherlock." Mycroft greeted his younger brother with a smile. Sherlock glared in return. He wondered how his brother, a small, rat-faced man could become captain of the football team. 

Sherlock grabbed one small strip of bacon from the pan in the kitchen and sulked back to his room to get dressed, wondering why he even went downstairs in the first place. He wasn't actually hungry. He was never hungry. 

After finishing the bacon, Sherlock undid his robe, letting it cool down at his feet and stripped off his wool pajama pants and changed his boxers, then proceeding pull on a pair of black pants, following a dark gray button-up shirt. 

Sherlock walked down the flight of stairs, casting a glare at Eurus when he saw her sitting at the kitchen table. 

"Purple?" Eurus teased. 

"It's my favorite shirt." Sherlock defended. 

"Don't you think that's a bit... queer? Just cause you can't see the color doesn't mean it's gray." Mycroft interjected. 

"I am not an idiot, Mycroft. I do not care what others think of my choice in clothing color." Sherlock stopped himself adding; "Says the queer one." So instead he added; "It isn't even that bright of a purple. It's plum." 

The thing about Mycroft is that try as he may, Mycroft could not make the window to his sexuality opaque. Sherlock could see right through his older brother- through the hetero facade to the obvious homosexual in the closet of his brother's heart. 

Now, Sherlock, he took precautions. He closed himself off to all romantic, (and friendly) affiliations. Not that he had the chance to develop a relationship on any level. But he chose to be cautious, for we live in a society that judges us on our race, gender, and sexuality, not for who we are underneath. So Sherlock formed himself to the reality he lived in. 

Sherlock cast one last glance at his siblings and grabbed his school bag which he had prepared the night before, that was near the front door. Sherlock said nothing as he left the house.

It was early, but Sherlock decided to walk to the school, to clear his head. He knew he would be on time this way and wouldn't have to have Mycroft drive him to school with Eurus. 

\--

"Ah, Sherlock!" Mycroft approached his younger brother, Eurus tailing behind, who was sitting near the entrance to the school. 

"Where is the library?" Sherlock responded. Mycroft sighed and gave Sherlock direction. Sherlock immediately retreated to the library, not wanting to be in his sibling's presence anymore. 

Once he reached the library, he placed his bag on a table and went off in search of a book, and after about five minutes of searching, he came back to the table with a book in hand.  The Monstrumologist. 

The book looked interesting enough just based on the cover. Sherlock opened the front of the book to read the lines of text on the inside of the front cover. Once he was finished analyzing that, he read the back of the book and found it equally as interesting. 

Sherlock opened the book and set out to read the contents of the book. He was about two minutes in when movement caught his eye. 

John Watson.

Sherlock recognized him instantly from the times he would come over to spend time with Eurus when they were dating for that short period of time. Sherlock would hide from John when he came over, so as far as Sherlock knew, John didn't know he existed. 

Sherlock averted his eyes back to his book as he watched John disappear behind a bookcase. Sherlock continued to read, but his mind was elsewhere.

Sherlock made a mental note of where he was in the book as he closed it, walking up to the librarian to check out the book and then pulling a slip of paper, made his way to the office. 

Once he entered, he handed the lady at the front desk the slip of paper and she looked over it, then picked up the phone, asking for a Mrs. Kydin and a Mr. Taylor.

Soon the two teachers arrived. Mrs. Kydin was introduced as his homeroom teacher and Mr. Taylor was introduced as his counselor. He was asked to go with Mrs. Kydin to homeroom and that he and Mr. Taylor would talk during lunch. 

Mrs. Kydin leads Sherlock down the halls and to his homeroom. Sherlock thought this as very unnecessary. Just because he couldn't see colors, didn't mean he was directionally challenged or fully blind, and it's not like he was mentally slow either. Just color blind. 

Sherlock and Mrs. Kydin stood at the front of the class as she introduced him. Sherlock looked around the class, making hundreds of deductions, but then his heart started pounding. John was in this class. 

Sherlock stared at John who was seated at a desk in the middle of the class. John glared back, causing Sherlock to have an internal breakdown, but then he realized he was scowling, so his expressing suddenly changed to embarrassed as he sat down in a seat towards the back of the class.

Sherlock put his head down as Mrs. Kydin called attendance. Only six more classes. Sherlock thought bitterly. 

He couldn't get John out of his head.

\--  
You're dripping like a saturated sunrise  
You're spilling like an overflowing sink  
You're ripped at every edge  
But you're a masterpiece  
And now you're tearing through the pages  
And the ink  
Ink  
\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! Thanks for being patient. The chapters will switch from John's P.O.V to Sherlocks every chapter. So next chapter will be from John's P.O.V.

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the first chapter! The updates might be slow but I hope you'll be patient!


End file.
